Day 5: Finding Courage

Hey there! It’s Friday! It’s Day 5! And today is a different kind of day.

For a little over a week I have been contemplating about a particular article for my series on my recovery and whether I should or should not post it.

Why? because it’s a little bit messy, it’s a little bit angry, and it’s 100% what I need to let go.

I feel often times recovery is a lot like grief, you go through stages until you reach acceptance with yourself and your positioning in the universe and you move on.

This is part of why I decided to do this yoga challenge. Yoga can speak to you and work for you in ways you never imagined, opening doors that hadn’t existed.

I hadn’t been ready before. It was a huge life change I was preparing for. It was a bold statement.

But today on the mat I decided, it was time. It was time to release the anger and depression and denial and all the other things I had been dealing with alone, and write.

So today, my Yoga gave me the courage for this article (here) that you can choose to read or not to, it’s always your choice.

Day 4: *unintelligible noises*

Someway, somehow, I’ve made it through today. Although I woke up at probably noon thirty and then ate the most entertaining and filling breakfast of granola and yogurt

Although I woke up at probably noon thirty and then ate the most entertaining and filling breakfast of granola and yogurt, then sat in a parking lot for like 2 hours talking to my mom trying to figure out what to do, only to then go home and make 2 peanut butter sandwiches (yes I am 4) eat the rest of my pop chips, and then some pistachios, I still managed to do day 4 and I feel like death.

Not the fun death either, like the I should have been taking vitamins and eating healthy my whole life maybe then I wouldn’t feel so terrible all day death.

It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t had any caffeine today, and anyone who knows me knows Diet Coke is my life blood.

I am holding on, dramatically, by a thin string to life today.

Maybe the apple slices and Netflix will make it better.

*oh and you should totally watch that Trevor Noah special it’s hilarious*

Oh yeah, the yoga did help some, I pretty much ignored that part of today. I’m not used to doing it before 8.

Day 3: Simba is not my friend!

Okay, so day 3…I’m still at it, not many hiccups today. My motivation to this is really hanging on and my positivity keeps growing.

I’m finding that with each namaste that I breathe, I feel lighter, more positive, and like my abs will revolt because today was basically the boat pose and moving Simba over the cliff was not something I look forward to doing again.

see this thing:

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It’s this pose…but you’re not smiling and you’re working your abs by rotating side to side moving Simba over the edge of Pride Rock.

Thanks Adriene, that’s cute and all…but we already did like 3 planks AND I DID A PUSH-UP! Be proud my arms are cooked spaghetti and can hold nothing…until now (insert side eye smirking emoji).

All in all great workout, fell on the TV stand switching up mat location and only lost balance once. I feel like it’s getting easier every day. Plus this writing about it helps me remember that I told people I was doing it next thing you know imma be doing the scorpion pose!

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Until tomorrow, Namaste MckennaCats

Day 2: I didn’t quit!

I would just like to say I deserve a participation trophy of sorts since I’m a millennial (just kidding) because I completed day 2 of my challenge for Yoga.

Now before you say anything about how it’s only day 2 let me explain!

I believe that the universe is a very powerful force that many cannot understand, most call the forces at work God, or Messiah, or possibly even Allah. But to me, I refer to it as good vibes and positive energy.

When practicing yoga, you attune yourself with something greater than yourself allowing your body and mind to be at ease and find peace if only for a moment.

It’s when you find that peace and let the universe conduct its will that truly amazing things will happen for you.

After day 1 of my 30 days of Yoga with Adriene (Day 1 if you’d like to test it out), I felt so much relaxation in my body and I slept magically. I cannot even explain the magic.

But most importantly, about 3o minutes after I leveled myself with the universe, the job I wanted to bad that I had been waiting to hear from emailed me back and offered for me to start today.

It was a sign from the universe, this job you ask? It’s with a dance studio and is offering me a way back into the life of dance I’d given up when I prioritized other responsibilities and I lost a part of myself that I often missed.

This is why I deserve a trophy for not skipping day 2 everyone! Instead of doing the yoga challenge this morning like I had intended I decided night was probably best to set me in a good mindset to then write about my day and go to sleep.

Well today I assisted in a baby ballet/tap class and oh my goodness the cute was so undeniable I could barely stand it, subbed 3 classes for a sick teacher which included a tap/jazz/ballet combo, ballet level 1 (which I had to do some vocab google for) and a performance team class.

It was exhausting, but there is no way to describe how much I loved it. I was terrified at first that I was going to mess up and that the kids wouldn’t listen to me, but by the end of the night I was fully confident in what I was doing and I fell in love with dance even more than I already was.

So when I got into my car to head home after 3 straight hours of dancing and stretching and technique my body was tired! But I took 30 minutes to talk to my fabulous roommate, and then said “you have to do this, it’s day 2, come on you have to do this”

And magically enough I was able to drag my tired soul to the mat and let me tell you Adriene doesn’t play with those planks y’all my abs are on fire but I love it so.

For once I feel like I may actually be able to finish something I’ve started.

Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to go eat more fruit slices.