Hey there! It’s Friday! It’s Day 5! And today is a different kind of day.
For a little over a week I have been contemplating about a particular article for my series on my recovery and whether I should or should not post it.
Why? because it’s a little bit messy, it’s a little bit angry, and it’s 100% what I need to let go.
I feel often times recovery is a lot like grief, you go through stages until you reach acceptance with yourself and your positioning in the universe and you move on.
This is part of why I decided to do this yoga challenge. Yoga can speak to you and work for you in ways you never imagined, opening doors that hadn’t existed.
I hadn’t been ready before. It was a huge life change I was preparing for. It was a bold statement.
But today on the mat I decided, it was time. It was time to release the anger and depression and denial and all the other things I had been dealing with alone, and write.
So today, my Yoga gave me the courage for this article (here) that you can choose to read or not to, it’s always your choice.
Someway, somehow, I’ve made it through today. Although I woke up at probably noon thirty and then ate the most entertaining and filling breakfast of granola and yogurt
Although I woke up at probably noon thirty and then ate the most entertaining and filling breakfast of granola and yogurt, then sat in a parking lot for like 2 hours talking to my mom trying to figure out what to do, only to then go home and make 2 peanut butter sandwiches (yes I am 4) eat the rest of my pop chips, and then some pistachios, I still managed to do day 4 and I feel like death.
Not the fun death either, like the I should have been taking vitamins and eating healthy my whole life maybe then I wouldn’t feel so terrible all day death.
It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t had any caffeine today, and anyone who knows me knows Diet Coke is my life blood.
I am holding on, dramatically, by a thin string to life today.
Maybe the apple slices and Netflix will make it better.
*oh and you should totally watch that Trevor Noah special it’s hilarious*
Oh yeah, the yoga did help some, I pretty much ignored that part of today. I’m not used to doing it before 8.
Okay, so day 3…I’m still at it, not many hiccups today. My motivation to this is really hanging on and my positivity keeps growing.
I’m finding that with each namaste that I breathe, I feel lighter, more positive, and like my abs will revolt because today was basically the boat pose and moving Simba over the cliff was not something I look forward to doing again.
see this thing:
It’s this pose…but you’re not smiling and you’re working your abs by rotating side to side moving Simba over the edge of Pride Rock.
Thanks Adriene, that’s cute and all…but we already did like 3 planks AND I DID A PUSH-UP! Be proud my arms are cooked spaghetti and can hold nothing…until now (insert side eye smirking emoji).
All in all great workout, fell on the TV stand switching up mat location and only lost balance once. I feel like it’s getting easier every day. Plus this writing about it helps me remember that I told people I was doing it next thing you know imma be doing the scorpion pose!
Until tomorrow, Namaste MckennaCats
So today I decided that I was going to start a yoga challenge over I had started back in August but never finished. I find that often times I do that…I get so hype and excited to start something and when it becomes normal or gets hard (I really hate waking up and planks yo!) I just ditch out and then pretend it didn’t happen.
I find that often times I do that…I get so hype and excited to start something and when it becomes normal or gets hard (I really hate waking up and planks yo!) I just ditch out and then pretend it didn’t happen.
For instance, January I was supposed to start monthly resolutions to give up something bad each month or start something new.
It took me three days to totally cave and grab a Diet Coke and there went that resolution because if I already broke it why start over? (because I am totally weak that’s why)
Anywho my lack of commitment extends to pretty much every area of my life.
- I start new relationships, they get normal? I dip out.
- Start a new workout? there are too many planks and I’m miserable at pushups or anything requiring arm strength, maybe not today.
- I wanna wake up early and start a routine? Have you ever felt the comfort of blankets in the morning? How could you leave that?
- Sewing? That new stitch was confusing
- Crochet and knitting? I could never get the rows to do exactly what i wanted, plus my fingers hurt from yarn burn.
I never finish anything that I start.
However! This time I’m determined! I will finish this 30-day challenge no matter what! And to semi/not really prove that I’m gonna write about it every day!
Anywho, today went well my abs are feeling the burn and I am feel super great maybe I’ll even eat healthier, I have been eating more fruit which is shocking.