Becoming McKenna

McKenna may not be my real name, and I may technically not be her, but she has become an alter ego of sorts for me. I know, that sounds totally crazy, like an imaginary friend, or an unrealistic expectation set for myself. But as much as I am not McKenna, at my core, that’s who I really am.

McKenna is everything I strive to be, she has no history, no bad qualities, no personal tragedy or trauma. McKenna is what everyone who has ever been there for me and supported me has wanted me to be.

But in order to become to McKenna, I must first discover who she is….?

McKenna is…..

  • Bold and fearless
    • Not fearless as in has no fears, but fearless as in looks her fears dead in the eyes and says “You don’t scare me” and disregards fear like you disregard trash thrown out on the street.
  • Happy and optimistic
    • Happiness hasn’t been one of those things that have been easily found in my life nor has a trusting optimistic viewpoint. The past can influence so much of the present, but McKenna has no past and no reason to be so bitter.
  • Sarcastic and witty
    • Okay, I am already very sarcastic and pretty witty on my own already but this is one of those things I wouldn’t give up for all the people who tell me that it’s hateful and mean. (Take a joke, or perhaps don’t be so dumb)
  • Confident and unafraid of opinions
    • I always believed if you faked it long enough it was real. That’s a freaking lie don’t fall for it. I am going to own everything I do as if my life depends on it, and I am not going to care what you have to say about it because it’s not about you. *cue shock gasps of horror*
  • Disciplined and organized
    • I am a chaotic tornado of clothes, ideas, emotions, good intentions (paving the way to hell) and unfinished projects. I will stick to a schedule if my life depends on it, which it kinda does, and I am going to start finishing EVERYTHING!
  • Fun and adventurous
    • Spontaneity is definitely not my strong point. In fact, the very thought of leaving with no plan is giving me a mini panic attack (deep breaths!). I wanna try new things, I wanna have fun, I wanna look back on a life that I lived, not a life that just kinda happened.

McKenna has only positive qualities to me and that’s because there is no room for negativity in my future. The filing cabinet in my brain that handles negative emotions is full and is being downsized in the mental remodel, so that’s gotta go. From today until it becomes irrelevant, I am going to ask myself whenever I feel doubt, insecurity, or fear, “what would McKenna do?” and then I am going to do that.

Making a Fool of Myself

So have you ever been so awkward words just flood out of your mouth? Yes? oh good it’s not just me. No? oh well its rather embarrassing. I discovered this about myself recently. Not only do I get awkward and say weird things in awkward situations, but I make sure to do it when I’m nervous, or it is most definitely socially unacceptable.  Continue reading “Making a Fool of Myself”

The Life and Times of a “Sinner”

So I got a bit behind but that was because this particular subject can be a bit touchy for most people and I am so used to keeping my mouth shut about it. Today we are talking about my views on religion or lack thereof. Continue reading “The Life and Times of a “Sinner””

It’s Me Mckenna Jean

Hello Internet, it’s me. I know at this time I am most likely talking to the void. I figured I would introduce myself to the Void of data that is the interwebs. I am McKenzie, I know, I know, “if your name is McKenzie why does it say McKenna Jean?” Well my dear readers, it’s all thanks to my best friend Bliz. Bliz gives everyone a nickname and somehow that became mine and it stuck. Anywho, I am a Senior in College and I am embarking on the summer that is going to change my entire life. Continue reading “It’s Me Mckenna Jean”